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I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder, I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrappin' this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why
Chorus
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever, just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why
Chorus
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no,
As no surprise
If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this
It's easier to see the reason why
Chorus
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
(stayed till today)
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
This is indeed a new single released by Daughtry... and it really leaves a deepest scar in my heart...
I don't understand why I keep hurting myself.. as if I really enjoy to be hurt.. arghhh... That's just so typical of me.. I thought i have learned my lesson.. But I don't know for how long would i be 'educated' with this lesson.. I feel like i was so lucky to be blessed with some or I should say one caring people by my side.. that wants to accompany me until two o'clock in the morning just to make sure that I am doing well... But.. I don't realize that it was just some sort of mirage that keeps on lying to me.. That keeps on giving me false hope. I hate to dream.. I hate to dream about having him by myside all the time. Maybe I should start learning to live on my own. Live without concerning whether he has eaten, whether he sleeps well, whether he remember me... So much so, I should learn not to believe in all he said... "Don't get in contact with you doesn't me i don't remember you.." Holy S**t... all that was a crap that he likes to say... Arghhh... I cursed the day I met him.. I know.. I should be okay... LIVE MY LIFE COOL....
ZUMA: I finally succeed in my mission to accomplish all the stages in this game...
BADMINTON: I cried so loud that my Zulkarnain screwed up his game and ended his campaign in Singapore Open... S***!!!!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND why i always come into this situation. I was so happy just a few moments before and then when i was about to share the happiness with some other people... The unwanted SADNESS and DESTROYING moment comes to me... I really feel like cursing myself for all these stupid things.
Takkanlah sebab aku wish best of luck malam tadi... All these become a CURSE to him? Arghhhh.....
So hard for me to accept this fact..
Tired...
Exhausted...
Extremely weak...
These are the outcomes of my sisters' wedding... The 'kepenatan' has really taken its toll on me in these two weeks... DAMN!!! However that 'damn' was not for the wedding... Don't take me wrong okay.... It is absolutely for all my sweats and body-ache... huhuhu~
I think... this was the only time i worked real hard for a kenduri... It's not that i didn't do anything in any other kenduri before... Only that, before this, there were two other sisters that helped.. BUT.......... As this is their wedding... i gotta sacrifice a bit lar... Nevermind lah....
Then the next day... we made a trip to Padang Piol for my third sister majlis bertandang... huh... Under the hot-burning-angry sun... we have to make a journey that took almost one and a half hour... duhh.... then me, fanna and jawe went back with kak yati, my second sister... Had a bowl of untasty cendol on our way back... and wanna know what make the cendol even untastier??? Its the shop owner.... How could he nagged on his niece in front of his costumer??? Putus selera aku... huh!!... we made way home... then the next day i sent fana and jawe home at benta... when i am home... i am actually half dead because the road was so 'memabukkan'... huhu~
Four days later.... We made another 'hantar menantu' trip. But this time... a little far... let me correct this... A thousand miles far than the trip to padang piol... huhu~ We stop at my sister's house in Ipoh (again??? hahhaa... actually this is my own hantar menantu trip...) before continue our journey to Kodiang, Kedah... But i just don't know how to control my sleepiness.... I slept until everyone had finished taking their bath... huhu~... And i was the last that take the shower and had the least breakfast -->minum air milo sejuk jer... <-- this was so pity tau... somemore we were to make another four hour journey to Kodiang... huhu~ Actually there is another three pack of nasi lemak... But they were all brought into the van. I quickly went and get one pack for me... hungry tau.... huhuhu~... Then we started the roadtrip.... We passed the whole north part of Perak, some part of Penang and then... We reach Kedah... Finally... I stepped my foot on the Negeri Jelapang Padi... They was so green... real green.... I fell in love with the scenery as soon as i saw them... Lucky those people in Kedah... they don't have to go far to find a suitable place to strike a pose... hahahhahahahahahahaha........ (photoshoot come across my mind notthing else.... ) We reached Padang Sera to stop by my brother in law aunt's house before we proceed to the kenduri around 1 p.m... 
OH MY GOD...... It was so hot... i feel like we were left on Sahara Desert. Goodness me... I just couldn't find a place to get rid of the burning sun. And what most terrible is that we had to wait for almost 2 hours for another pair of newlyweds which was my brother in law's younger brother and his wife to arrive first before we went to the kenduri... What the.... huh... Finally at 2.35 p.m we made our way to Kodiang, the grooms' house.. As soon as we arrived... They asked us to straight away sit under the canopy and had our lunch... And the best part was... we had the huge standing fan behind us... WoOOWwww... That was awesome... I mumble no more about the sweat and burning sun... and ate all the delicious dishes that were served quitely... hehehhe....
Then... It's the time to leave the newlyweds... We made our moves around 4.30 p.m... Then we headed to Bukit Kayu Hitam... Wahh.... Here again... I didn't believe that i had stepped into the border of Thailand.. there were so many thailand people around... everywhere in the Duty Free Zone of Bukit Kayu Hitam we could see them... Huh... Only few more metres before we actually stepped into Hatyai... hehe.... Wanna go there someday.... We drove out of Bukit Katu Hitam around 6 p.m... We had to go back... So sad... I belum puas jalan-jalan what... huhu~ But that night we actually rested at my sis house in Ipoh once again before going back to Pahang. We reached her house around 11 p.m and we drove back to Pahang at 2 a.m....
Finally it's home SWEET home again at 7.45 am the next day... Perghh.... What a tiring journey I had last weekend... And because of i am extremely weakened by the journey i only woke up by 2.30 p.m yesterday... my body was aching everywhere because of the long journey and the small space i had to squeeze in the van... huhu~
WEDDING..... i don't despise you... But i am really tired of having to involve with you...
so please... At least... Give me some rest these few years...
We are the crowd
We're cuh-coming out
Got my flash on it's true
Need that picture of you
It's so magical
We'd be so fantastic, oh
Leather and jeans
your watch glamorous
Not sure what it means
But this photo of us
It don't have a price
Ready for those flashing lights
'Cause you know that baby I-
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your-
Papa-Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
I'll be your girl backstage at your show
Velvet ropes and guitars
Yeah cause you know I'm starting between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes
Shadow is burnt, yellow dance and return
My lashes are dry- But the teardrops I cry
It don't have a price
Loving you is Cherry Pie
'Cause you know that baby I
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Real good, We're dancing in the studio
Stop-stopped, That shit on the radio
Don't stop, for anyone
We'll Blast it but we'll still have fun
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
hahaha... Lady Gaga just know what my feeling is....
so fantastic oh.....
This week on May 30th, two of my sisters are going to have their big day --> WEDDING.
And me???? As usual, there are many things that i have to involve in....
From packing all the souvenirs, 'bunga telur' for the guests to clearing up the house.
This whole week is going to be very hectic and tiring. I can't wait for Jawe, Wadhi and Fana to come to my house this coming Thursday. Balkis isn't confirmed yet whether she could make it or not. And my other friends couldn't attend the wedding because of some other matters...
Hope that the wedding goes well and been blessed. Amen...
By the way.. there is one thing that i dislike to hear the most... When people asking "when is your turn?" Duh!... Me and Wedding??? So not in sync now... I don't know if in 5-6 years ahead i'll start thinking about getting married. But as for now, i don't think i am yet to find a boyfriend to get married. I have lost my heart to be married unless if he is my Zulkarnain... huhuhu~
Wednesday, May 20th 2009...
6.15 p.m....
I started a long journey to Ipoh, Perak.. A place that I ALWAYS WANNA GO TO...
hahaha...
Maybe... Maybe for some people they don't know why i was so interested to go to IPOH... Here are some Q's that people always ask me..
1. What so great about Ipoh?
2. What makes you so crazy about going to Ipoh?
3. Why are so happy to go to the 'persidangan bawah pokok' place???
hehehe..... Wanna know my answer?
I WANNA SEE MY BELOVED ONE'S HOUSE.... (or at least have a glimpse at where the place he grew up....) Ok what...
And that night which was supposed to be so long....(6hrs journey) ended up so short... huhu~... yes.. I have to thank my best friend... He sacrifice his 'tidur' time to give me company.. although we only communicate through the phone(sms-ing) but that was more than enough... It makes me a little braver to stay in the darkness of the night.... I reached Ipoh at 1.00 in the morning...
hahaha.... And yes, Yesterday i had the chance that i'd been waiting for a lifetime... My sister brought me jalan2... She showed me where was Jelapang... hehehe... (got the clue?) and i was damn excited that i almost asked her to bring me to the housing area at Taman Meru... "GILA!!" that was what my sister said... But anyway... i am happy enough though... hiks...
I will remember that experienced this whole life... Maybe another day, i will come to that place again... Who knows... Hhihihiihi... (can't even smile correctly... )
Hidden Leaves was the second novel that i read this holidae... BUt hell yeah... It took me a week to finish reading the book.. But know what???? I can't believe that i a actually cried reading it... haha... Hard to believe but that's very true... Learning about how hard it is to reveal the truth that we really desired to outburst it to everyone... And how difficult it gets when we have to be separated from our loved ones... Arghhh.... Life is just too cruel sometimes... But yes... This is what we call F.A.T.E & D.E.S.T.I.N.Y..... everyone has their own destiny and fate... One may be blessed to have all the desirable things but may not have the happiness that the other one has... Accept it with an open heart and we will all be happy... Simple.. Isn't it? But how many people can really do this? Before we look into anybody else, we better search deep down inside our heart... Are we apart of them too? I got my answer... And as many people know.. I AM NOT!!!
DAMN IT!!!!
that was the first thing that came across my mind few hours before.... I couldn't start my laptop... I couldn't log on into my profile... Whathaheck.... I was almost losing my mind... Thank God i got to speak to Wadhi's brother... at least i can get some sort of solution on my own... i refused to send it to any of the stores.. because i don't wanna seek more trouble.. The smallest error in the system could damage the whole system if i get the store assistant to repair my laptop... And thank ALLAH... all is solved by now... huh... i dare not to do any automatic updates anymore... huhu~... it take four years for me to own a laptop tau... it takes my breath away to think about damaging or causing any errors on it...
My beloved Pink Dell inspiron 1420
Last night....
I could guarantee that no one would feel more anxious, curious, energetic and pious that i am....
It was the night that will make certain Malaysia's place and rank in World Badminton... And YES.... As many people had predicted... We lost... We lost to the so-called 'mighty' China... we were down to 0-3... What a lost.... But I would say that we had nearly broken the egg when my dearest Zulkarnain and his partner Boon Heong almost smashed out the Chinese pair.. But indeed... They were mentally too strong.. They were on their home ground... All the people there supported them well... They should be grateful that they were home.. If they were somewhere else, with the performance that were given by Kien Keat and Boon Heong, i believe that they will be tamed down easily... They were actually played the game of their life..
But i am not gonna comment on the whole night.. Who am i actually.. all i know is that.. they had done a great and non-negotiable commitment they had given upon their responsibilities last night... They are all winners... they may not be the winner on the podium... but they are the winner in all our hearts... I believe it... and i am sure thousands and millions other would feel the same too...
Thursday,
May 14th 2009....
Today was the 5th day of the tournament. And Malaysia went down to the court as the stronger team against Denmark because they had lost the desirable services of Peter Gade Hoeg Christensen and Tine Rasmussen out of their migraine and injuries respectively. Thus, this was the greatest opportunity that Malaysia had been waiting for. To go to their very first Sudirman Cup’s semi-final. This was indeed a good success that had been achieved although the earlier hope suggest that they might have a slightly easier route to final if they had beaten the Korean… But yes, past is past, what we have is the future. Therefore the Malaysian camp should be mentally and physically prepared to go against the so called ‘giant’ China. They could have been the greatest of all time but I strongly believe that if ever our players play their best and the day they are playing is just their day –Malaysia will surely outplay the Chinese.. I will never stop praying hard for my beloved Koo Kien Keat and his partner, as well as all other Malaysian player. Because I realized that, when it is a team match, everybody has to play their part. Everybody needs to take responsibility upon whatever circumstances that will come their way. 
I want to see my ‘him’ playing as he played today… he was considered as ‘almost faultless’ by the commentators today. I knew that this is kind of too much but obviously he deserved a huge round of applause for all the killing motion that he did today. He and Boon Heong was so dynamic and just play the way they were playing back to the times when they were World #1… I know that he might not know how hard I prayed for him, or how enthusiastic I become whenever I see him playing and how speechless I am when he was down to the opponent even for just one point…but I will keep on praying, supporting and believing in him. I will be the most loyal fan than never will stop supporting him, till the end of my life. I swear… By the name of ALLAH that he will forever be in my heart… I hope that he’ll know what I feel and I will be able to make him my real him… Amen….