Me.My Life.Him.You

Guys and Girls...
I'm back again.. A week after my last post...
I'm here in a room...
A twin sharing room, a mattress and a single door small cupboard por mi...

My school name is SMK Pusat Penyelidikan Pertanian Tun Razak, Jerantut Pahang...
Yes, I am back to my hometown... ok... HOMETOWN... but so not hommy for me...

Well... I guess I gotta get used to this school...
An excellent Principal...
A good school..
An all malay school... from the students, to the teachers, the staffs as well as the canteen workers... (I'm exaggerating... they do have 2 Indian students..)

ALLAH...
I need you... wherever and whenever and whatever I'll be going, and I'll be doing later...
because without you... I am clueless... Helpless and Penniless... ALLAHUAKBAR!!!!

My oh My...
Only one week left...
Hanya seminggu...

DAMN.....

Time flies so fast...
Or.... I'm the one that move so slow???

REALITY...

1. I'll be called a GSST in a week time...

2. I'll probably have to stay on my own.... (alone or not... I don't know)

3. I'll have to live under the courtesy of my family... (Money, clothing, foods etc.) until I get my first salary which only God knows when..

4. I'll be having new students who are unlikely to be like my past students during my 3 months of practicum...

5. I'll be working officially under new people... I hardly knows anyone of them... I just hope that they are nice people... friendly and helpful... (amen...)

6. I might not be able to contact those who I am so close with now due to the business that we have to deal later on... (but please take note that I love you always...)

7. I will be crying when I eat alone early in the morning during Sahur and in the dusk during Berbuka puasa... (Oh no!! Ramadhan is coming.... I haven't finished replacing my puasa... )

8. I will have to be more efficient in managing my money... Getting my own paycheck I might be able to spend as much money I want w/o much worry about what others would say.. But hey.. Once my money finished... no one gonna gimme money anymore... (uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa T.T)

9. I'm gonna be away really away from ♡♥♡ Bubeau ♡♥♡ .... He'll be living on his own too... Earning his money... Forgetting me... (sob... sob.... T.T)

10. I might becoming a new person... Physically and Mentally.... InsyaAllah...


So peeps... All the best to all of us... in life, in work and in ♡♥♡....

Friday
July 2nd, 2010.

It has been two weeks now...
I had finally left the 'student' title behind me...

How do I feel???

1. HAPPY - for now I am exactly got the total freedom from assignments, study, and having to follow rules set by those people.... hehehe..

2. EXCITED - I can't wait to see what's in store for my future... I can't wait to start getting my own money.. my own salary... yeah... SALARY people... not allowance anymore... (this is when you can spend your money without being monitored by others... lol :p)

3. SAD - I don't know what my life would be without my life-mates for 6 years.... Everybody is taking their own ways now... Don't know when are we going to see eachother again... CONVOCATION??? maybe... huhu~ (but that still a long way to go.... )

4. INDECISIVE - this is the hardest part that I hate the most... I hate to have this feeling... I hate to be indecisive in life.... I have reach to the point when I can't make up my mind.. to stay or to go... To hold on or to let go... To throw away or to keep it deep inside.... and it's about this love I had...



WELL.....

We never know what is in store for us next... all we can do is just pray hard that things will go as we wish...
Nobody's gonna paint our future if we don't do it ourselves... Get your life... Live it well... Grateful that you are still blessed to have your greatest treasure by yourside today... (Whoever or whatever it may be..)

Lotsa love...
Deeyah...

This week... It marks the fourth week of this very short lecture hours semester... Two more weeks were will be officially doomed to another phase of becoming an English Teacher... *sigh*

So soon....
I thought that yesterday was just the 1st day I came here... to this very same Maktab... (Correction... It ain't a maktab anymore.... IPGM KTI). And now... After 6 years of being a teacher trainee in Maktab and also UPM... I dare not to boast that I am so ready to be called as TEACHER yet...

Having to think of the school that we are going for practicum really drives me to a state where I can declare as 'nearly insane'. This is not to underestimate the school.. but sometimes, I just wonder why didn't they just send us to a closer school to our beloved Maktab? but yeah, yeah... I would just shut my mouth up... no point of arguing or being sad upon this matter... Just chill Deeyah...

Next week....

Assignment dues....
Micro-teaching will commence.....
Unit Plan that gonna crack our mind need to be completed....
Hell yeah... so many things need to be done in this very short limited time span of the semester....
But again.... Say not a complaint....
I have chosen to be in this profession...
Gotta 'REDHA' with everything that will come before me...

I am grateful.... despite all the hardship to complete this short semester of lecture...
the friendship we have are getting stronger... I DON'T DARE to imagine how life would be after we start the practicum session...
I know that they of course life wouldn't be the same anymore...
But I just wish that................................ our F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P will always remain the same...

P/S: when I think that I have nothing to write, actually there so many things to be vomited here... till then...

2009....
Many things had taken place in my life...
Many experiences had matured me...
Many incidents had finally opened up my mind.... About human, about life, about friendship, about love...
But hey.. what happened in 2009 let them remain there... buried deep inside the passing year...
I dare not to look back.. Dare not to think how many of my wishes had I achieved in 2009...
For me...Live must go on... Whether it's 2009, 2010, or 2011...

2010....
This is the year that I've long waited.. haha (am I???)
Hell yeah... This year... It's going to be the last year of my six-year course... or to be precised..
I am gonna graduate after the first half of the year...
Then... Wanna know why I have long waited for this year???
I can't wait to go out to work.. To be officially called as 'Teacher' by my students...
BUT!!!!!
I am not ready yet to live in this second decade of the Millennium...
Am I already 24-year-old this year???? DAMN!!!!