.jpg)
It had been a while since I last posted an entry in my blog. Not that I don’t have anything to share, anything to write… Just that there had been too many things that happened and I just don’t know what should I blog about.
First and foremost… when I was first back in IPTB (now known as IPGKDB), I was so pissed off that they put 17 of us together in a warden house. But this is also not due to any prior notice. They have taken full month rent for a room of two from us but they made us squeeze like sardines where we had no table to study, no rack to put our books, not even a proper space to perform our prayers. But then when we had made ourselves comfortable with the situation that was far from normal IPGKTI’s students comfort, (some of my friends had even bought fans, racks, tables) they forced us to leave the house and move into a new block. This had really driven me mad. And I was pretty sure that others were feeling the same too. What make me more furious was that, they said “kamu akan dipindahkan tanpa sebarang alasan!”(H.E.B, 2009) What did they think about this? Have they even had small space in their heart that sympathize with their students??? And yet, now it had been almost a month that we stay in the new hostel. Yeah, this place is way much better than house that we have our personal space, only that we I come to think of what they did to us when we first back here I couldn’t help but to CURSE…
Classroom??? We are using our old class where we can still see the stain left by the extra strong glue to stick the motto our class four years back which is ‘NOTHING LESS’. Speaking of nothing less, I think, we should now yearn for EVERYTHING from that nothing less momma. There are too many differences that I think I couldn’t accept just yet. She has to change. She has to make us stop cursing her everyday we see her. I didn’t feel any good either to come to class and say bad things about lecturers but just that if the lecturer seems to force us to say bad things about he or she, I believe that no one is able to get away with it… right??? This semester has also come to it’s half way. And to be honest, I am yet to adjust myself to this everyday-group-discussion syndrome. Huhu~
Friendship??? I am happy that we are getting closer everyday. My 7 gorgeous girls and also another 24 beautiful ladies in my batch, not to mention one that I really outcast already, we are UNITED as one. We went to a paintball game with the whole batch although there are some of us who couldn’t make it but the experience was just too cool.. à I didn’t play but I went to stalk and pretended as a pro-photographer. But then, what I think I have long to do and I able to do it was, I able to talk to my friend, a friend that hardly knows what we feel for her, all the things that triggered in my mind. I told her everything that I think I should’ve told her two years ago.. But Thank god, Alhamdulillah, she was now okay and able to accept herself the way she had forgotten when she was with that creature. We were all so proud of you my dear friend. And yes, I believe that our friendships bond will become stronger and tighter from then.
The Gorgeous Girls??? We are fun as usual… We are crazy as before… and we are as gorgeous as before… Hahahaha… Sekali sekala perasan, it’s okay kan????
HIM???? He lost in the tournament where he and his partner was the most eligible pair in the world to win it. But this time around I was proud that I did not lose my sanity. What I meant was, I still able to eat properly, and laugh and work and study as usual not like what happened to me two years back when he lost in Kuala Lumpur. And I am looking forward for his next tournament. I just hope that he could be more dedicated and high spirit to win all the titles. I will always support him though he might not know about it.
HIM No.2??? I am stronger now. Though the last goodbye that I thought should take its way has already taken place, but I has not just yet. The relationship is still on. Just that I don’t want to cling onto him anymore. I’ve had enough of crying and restless night thinking about what he’s been doing, what will tomorrow bring for both of us. I am now more freed to choose on whoever I would like to be with. Whoever guys that I want to hang out with. He’s no longer that special to me. Although he is still there in a very special corner in my heart, but he should just remain there silently and let me move on with my life my way…
MYSELF???? I am forever ME. I am still STRONG, BIG girl, FAT and HEALTHY. So what if I am fat??? I didn’t ask for anyone’s money to buy me food, nor that do I want to be FAT. This is what ALLAH had written for me. I will live the way my destiny was written. I will live healthily and live in my own WAY… I appreciate comments that people give on my physical and it has not hurt me at all because I am happy with myself now. I will continue on living proud and stand tall with MYSELF… VIVA DEEYAH PARA SIEMPRE… Till next time…
