Me.My Life.Him.You

A few hours ago…..

I saw something that really broke my heart…

I just wonder how could I see it…

Supposedly I shouldn’t look at it…

Ooh my god…. How long do I have to be like this…

I wonder why the other person got the chance that I desired the most?

Arghh…..

Penatnyer nak fikir pasal ni….

But if I pretend not t o think about it….

I myself will be looking like a crazy gurl…

Macam orang sakit….

Like there is really something BIG that bothers me…

Actually memang ada pun….

But I don’t know lar how to get rid of the pic in my eyes….

I can feel the pain although just by looking at it without a clearer view pun…

I feel like I’m so damn hurt now…

I hate myself for feeling so… Cause I got to believe that there is always some sort of blessing behind everything that happened…

But I just want to know what is the blessing????

how am i to tell him?
i dont know how long can i keep this to myself...
i want him to know...
but i just cant find the way..
im so upset that he lost again yesterday...
but i know.. he didnt feel so stress up because he lost to his team mates..
but at least i am relieved to hear that he will be entering the super series final in KK..
perhaps he could be the master there...
God gracious...
help me make it real..
i really want it to happen...

huhu...
life is hard...
but it is harder because he lost....
he is surely to be blame by everyone.
we could not be so mean, so cruel, so insensitive towards him...
he must be very sad right now.
but who will console him if we never stop blaming him for the loss he caused?
how could we simply point our finger to someone that has given their best?
what would we do if we are in his shoes?
what we would feel?
being very judgemental does not change anything.
things has happened...
let it be that way... all we can do is to accept it the way it is....
pray that things will be better...
remember that if the god does not grant what we wish for, things we expect would not be achieved to...
god gracious, give me the strength to face all this....

hmm.... it's holidae again.....
it's the distance again.....
it's the time to be free again.....

huh...
i just lucky to be able to write in this blog.....
thanks to the age that god has given me to breathe another day.....
to breathe and to love again..... Alhamdulillah.....

holidae keeps me away from the one that i love the most.....
if it wasn't holidae, me and him were only separated few miles away.....
but now..... distance has come between us.....
so sad..... but i know that although we are far away from each other.....
i am forever close to him as the wind..... and so does him.....

hope that all the things that i dreamt about him gonna be true.....
i wish that i will come true..... although to some people it may never come true.....
but i believe that true love will always be the truth.....

next week.....
it's his big time..... he is going to shine..... although some dark clouds are going to stop him from shining.... i believe that he will be alright..... all he need is blessing, supports, love, and ME.....