My 31st post.... And It's a POEM...


You



What could I do to make You see?

What should I do to make You hear?

What must I do to make You feel?

What would it take to make You know?



I refuse to see the sun,

For I always thought that You are brighter…

I refuse to feel the wind,

For I always thought that You are breezier…

I refuse to hear the song of the sea,

Because You are the melody in me, my dear!



Now somebody please tell me…

What could I do to make You see?

What should I do to make You hear?

What must I do to make You feel?

What would it take to make You know?



Deeyah

9.22p.m : 28.11.09

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A Step Into Another Phase of Adulthood...

Today...
Saturday... November 28th 2009...
A bright sunny day...

A day that had long been waited by one of my childhood, schoolmate and gossip-mate, SITI ZARIENA BT. AZIZ...
Today is her engagement day...
Congratulation to her...
After almost 6 months of being quiet about each other's life, she broke the silence last week by telling me that she will be engaged today...

At first,
I thought of not going... Maybe because I have no company to go...
But after making a promise with her and my other friend, I decided to go...
Although we arrived right after the groom side left, but hey.. I managed to be there too what...




She seemed to be glowingly happy today...
I am happy for her too...
BUT....

There's another thing that came across my mind..
Are we ready enough to step into the next phase of our lives?
I mean...
How many of us really know when to settle down?
She is lucky that she knows, this is the time...
But what about other people? Are they ready too?

God knows the answer...
All in all...
I am happy that I am still free to do and live my life the way I want it...

To Lina,
I love u babe... Hope you have made the right decision... I pray only the best for you...

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10 THINGS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO BEFORE NEXT YEAR MAKING ITS WAY INTO MY LIFE!!!

1. I MUST be able to put myself first in all situation

2. I MUST be able to control my food consumption... Bukan sebab nk kurus okay.. but it is necessary to make sure that I remain healthy...

3. I MUST be able to stop thinking about HIM - That bus driver laa... who else... Damn!!! so hard....

4. I MUST be able to stop thinking about another HIM too... He was OVER, OVER, OVER, OVER, OVER, OVER, OVER, OVER.....

5. I MUST be able to make sure that the numero uno HIM bags the USD50,000 next month... How I gonna do it? I don't know too... hahaha... lol

6. I MUST be able to get rid of all unnecessary feeling about my Silly Ladybird... He's just a friend... someone I'd love to flirt around with...

7. I MUST be able to control my emotion when I didn't get the things I want... I'm gonna turn 24 next year... gotta be a little mature la...

8. I MUST be able to stop blaming myself when things don't go my way... It ain't me that is guilty all the time...

9. I MUST be able to stop doing things for the sake of others... that sucks u know.... arghhh!!!!

10. I MUST be able to complete sewing all the beads... haha... Gonna wear the Kurung during the TESL dinner... but I haven't confirm I'll be going or not...


HOPEFULLY..... When the date turns 01.01.2010 DEEYAH will be somebody new in a good way... Amen...

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BROKEN HEARTED GIRL by Beyonce Knowles...

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

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Will time heal the pain???? *sigh*

I think I have taken a really long rest from blogging. Indeed I miss to write again… But since there were so many things that have taken place in my life during my absenteeism of this blogging world… To write it down, surely it will cost me several nights to finish writing… So, I chose not to write about them. But only one thing that I really wanna share… I have a friend that miraculously called himself a best friend of mine… but he never stood up for me. That was a pity. He hate people to talk bad things about both of us, but yet, he never told them the truth. And then, he simply chose to walk away from me. He acted as if I am the guiltiest human on earth for doing him injustice. And yes… There is another thing that really turned me off… He believed in what other said about me. He believed it when people told him that I love him, that I like him. OH MY GOD!!! Is he blind??? Can’t he see who I really interested in? And he should’ve known that the one I love… The HIMs that I always talk about in this blog aren’t him at all… Why the hell in the world would I want to love him? Did he forget that we had made a pact that we will always remain as best friends no matter what happened? To one extend, I think it is better that we stop being friend to each other, for he is so afraid to be seen sitting next to me, talking to me freely and also to be known as my friend. Then, what’s the use of calling me best friend in the first place? Now, I could say that I can learn to treat him as friend again… But, I should let you know that, me myself, wouldn’t know how to act or I should say, to pretend like there was nothing happened and treat him the way I used to treat him before… A wound will always leave a scar though by that time we can’t feel the pain anymore…..

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